Thank you, 2020.

If someone were to ask you how your 2020 was, how would you respond?

A) With a smile

B) Punching them in the face

C) "Ehh, I don't want to talk about it."

D) Both A and B

E) "Give me a couple of minutes to think it over."

This question is subjectively heavy, especially since 2020 has brought a lot of surprise and sadness into the world. Of course, I can go on and on about all the bad in the world--Lord knows this isn't the first time or year where something awful has happened across the globe. And yet, why does this one hit a little differently?

At the beginning of the quarantine, I was freaking out. I canceled plans left and right, loaded up my apartment with Costco finds, bought multiple vitamin supplements, and was legitimately afraid to leave my apartment. I went into full-on virtual fitness mode inside my apartment to get "quarantoned" and tried to boost my immune system the best way I could.

Of course, these things were only temporary distractions from reality. Just like many of you, I felt the sadness of being so far away from home. When I moved to DC over a year ago, it took a 26-hour road trip to get from Texas to my new apartment. As someone who has severe motion sickness, that car ride was brutal--the backaches were on another level. And yet, I was willing to make that drive again to see my family once more.

This year, I have gone 10-months without seeing my family. I've missed birthdays, holidays, hugs, and grandma's cooking. Don't get me started on the TexMex food I've missed either. I've missed visiting our family dogs and having wine nights at my aunt's house--the simple feeling of being home was everything I missed.

Mental health checks were getting harder to maintain--there were days I found it hard to maintain a conversation for more than two minutes. Although I've been working from home and am extremely grateful for it, the days were starting to feel longer...and having extra "me" time after work felt nonexistent at times. Sleepless nights became driven by anxiety and the fear of the unknown crept at every corner.

One night, I had enough. Many nights I had enough, but this time I finally had to stop wallowing. I prayed really hard, got my journal, and started to reflect--reflect on life, my family, my job, my love, and of course, all of the things I couldn't wait to eat when I got home.

Let's be honest...I just want to hug my baby sister and crack jokes with my family in person again. I want to see my friends and not be fearful of a hug. I want to have a fancy date night with my boyfriend and not worry about getting sick.

I took some time away from my laptop and called my parents...and then it hit me. Here I was complaining about not being with my family and friends when I should be grateful that they were alive and healthy in the first place. I have the luxury of knowing the people that matter most to me are okay and that I could hear their voice any time I wanted

Is Facetime ideal? No. Does it offer you an opportunity for social connection? Yes!

Talking on the phone is not the same as having human interaction, but it was everything I could want at that moment. The fact that I knew I would eventually see my family again gave me hope.

Because of this newfound hope, I started making a personal list of things to look forward to:

1. A hug from my baby sister;

2. Game nights with my family;

3. Road trips across New England with my boyfriend;

4. Wine and charcuterie nights with my best friends;

5. Seeing my novel come to life;

6. Hugging my grandma and eating all her homemade Mexican food;

7. Travel to Europe again; and

8. Dress up in something other than pj's (Jeans don't count.)

And the list goes on.

So now I challenge you. What's on your list? It can be as simple as cooking dinner with your parents, but I urge you to find something to look forward to.

Although I know there are so many things we stay mad at in 2020, I choose not to let negativity win. 2020 has given society the gift of reflection and time, whether we realize it or not. For this, I give thanks.

And you know what? After months of social distancing, self quarantining, sanitizing left and right, and taking PCR COVID tests, I finally reunited with my family. I received the biggest hug from my sister and it was everything I had hoped for and more.

Hope is not lost--find greatness in each day and breathe.

Wishing you a wonderful 2021 and sending you socially distant hugs and love,

Brenda

#Family #Sister #Love #Hope